The Wildest Canadian Headlines Ever

Whereas they don’t examine to the madness that’s Florida Man, Canada has some supremely bizarre headlines that go unnoticed by the remainder of the world and I’m right here to alter that. There have been means too many wild tales which have breezed by means of Canadian information reels however haven’t managed to get previous the border and it’s a rattling disgrace. They have to be shared with the world, and also you want, nay — DESERVE to expertise them simply as I’ve.

The time a crow stole a knife from an lively crime scene

Courtesy of HuffPost

A man in Vancouver, British Columbia threatened police with a knife whereas they have been responding to a name a couple of automobile fireplace and whereas they have been capable of get him to drop the knife, it was shortly picked up by Canuck the crow, who carried it for like 20 toes whereas being chased by the cops, however ultimately dropped it. He has but to be charged with crime scene tampering, and though he’s on the run from the legislation, that hasn’t stopped him from making appearances across the metropolis.

Canuck is thought for driving the SkyTrain, busses, beating up cyclists, and for refusing to offer an interview or take a political stance throughout native elections.

AND in any case of this, Canuck was elected the unofficial ambassador of Vancouver with 81% of the votes, as a result of Vancouverites love a insurgent.

Toes usually wash up on the shores of BC

Yeahhhhh…. So…… There’s no actual approach to form of ease into this one. It is a factor that simply occurs. Every now and then, toes wash up on seashores of Canada’s west coast. So usually, actually, that the headlines about it really sound bored.

Uh oh, one other pesky foot’s turned up on the seaside once more! Sigh, what are you gonna do.

Since 2007, there’s been TWENTY (20) toes which have washed up on the shores of the Pacific Northwest, which is extraordinarily grotesque however hey no less than it’s a pleasant spherical quantity. This has been happening for lengthy sufficient now that there’s even a Wikipedia web page for it, and it baffled individuals for fairly some time however after plenty of investigations, the reason from specialists is, “hey, don’t panic everybody. There’s no foul play, there’s lots of toes on the seashores as a result of there’s simply lots of lifeless our bodies floating on the market.

Cool, thanks, I really feel a lot better now.

The time a person obtained banned from a resort due to seagulls

Okay. That is most likely the wildest story I’ve ever learn. The place do I begin.

A Canadian man was headed to Vancouver Island from Nova Scotia for a convention, and he determined to deliver his pals a delicacy from again residence. The delicacy being Chris Brothers TNT Pepperoni. So he introduced it in a large suitcase, as a result of I suppose he wanted lots of pepperoni, and when he obtained to the resort he realized the mini fridge simply wasn’t sufficiently big (don’t you simply hate it when your resort doesn’t present ample room to refrigerate your briefcases filled with meat?) so he determined to depart it open, by a window which was additionally open, after which go for a stroll. What may go fallacious.

Just a few hours later (long-ass stroll however alright) he got here again to his resort room to search out that upwards of 40 goddamn seagulls had busted into his resort room by means of the window, ate all of the pepperoni within the suitcase, which I wish to remind everybody was extraordinarily spicy, it actually has TNT within the identify, shat completely all over the place, after which have been scared out of their minds when he got here again into the room. Making a vortex of pepperoni shrapnel, feathers, big birds, and fiery poops. He fought bravely and managed to get the birds out of the room, even when it meant catching them in towels and actually hurling them out of the window one after the other.

After this he was banned from the resort for 17 entire years, it was alleged to be a lifetime ban nevertheless it was lifted final April, so I hope he’s celebrating this one yr anniversary with some pepperoni… subsequent to a closed window.

Mr. Burchill telling the story of how he obtained banned from the Fairmont Lodge to the entrance desk workers 17 years after his lifetime ban was lifted

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